attack of the cookie monster

I helped my mama to bake CNY cookies.

mukhakhakhak!!!

I remember there was one year I made cookies for HSL's birthday,
the comment was that,
the beautiful H, S, L cookies, are, salty.

......sobs...... :'(

This time, my mama is here to supervise.
so, I guess it is absolutely safe to eat'em.

I made for mr.Geh this time
as I have no idea what else to get him for his birthday.

I even made one for 西瓜.

Off to the oven.

and it turned out to be really fine, edible, and really huge.

Work like you don’t need the money.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching.

not too late?

This is really not what I am supposed to do now.

Fed up with my lecturer's extremely bombastic language in his notes that kept me reading over and over again, he probably got TAR and TAylor's mixed up.

I hate photography.
and
I love photography.

I self torture to excel in all my photography assignments and no way this 50% exam is going to pull me down. *screams and yell in excitement*

~end of story~

and now I am finally facing all the 'aftereffects' and realizing how selfish I was to ignore sms'es, stop replying messages on msn (especially HSL's) dear HSL, I'm so sorry!!!! , half way disappearing, shutting people (that comes asking me questions politely) off, and all sort of nasty things I did to people, especially to my friends.

it is my luck and blessing, that with my attitude that self-proclaims 'busy' all year round, I still have friends.

I do hope it is not too late to apologize.
with deepest regret,
I promise never to be rude to my pals ever again.

with love.
XOXO

they left

I hate to break apart with my loved ones.
but it seems so usual nowadays.

tends to make me feel the guilt of not spending enough time and appreciating them enough.

In SMKPj

Saleha left us for MRSM after PMR,
she may be really extremely annoying.
Always kacau'ing me and stuffs.
But she never fails to make me laugh.

Syaf left for SMKCheras when we were entering Form 5 or is it middle of Form 4.
I remember that day clearly where the entire Tanjung was very gloomy and sad.
The times we spend together. The stories she used to tell us.
I just love the attention from outsiders when we are with her.
Cause it is always, and I mean ALWAYS, 7-8 Chinese surrounding one Feeca.

I always find it very silly and funny that we actually came up with the name, CM~Beaniez.
and if you happen to realize, we are both, food, grown on the ground, small in size, . . . .
bwuohahahahahah!!!
(...crow flying pass...)

I went back to school the other day.

and darn how can this happen!
Tanjung does not exist anymore.
:'(

In TARc

Chee Meng left when we started Sem2.
I really like to work with him cause he really listens to me.
muakhakhkahkahk!!!!!

and then, is this silly girl who left for UCSI.
This is well, the hardest and easiest of them all.
Hardest for it has already been 6 years since Day 1 of secondary school where I sat next to her.
Easiest cause she left for something better, something that she really has interest in.

and now, Puteri sayang is leaving me as well.

the best is yet to come

up to you

I have a friend who always says 讨厌你 (hate you!), which actually means 很爱你 (love you!)
Eventually, I followed this language trend and happens to go everywhere and saying 讨厌你 to my friends, which obviously, ones that I love.

I went shopping with my cousin William yesterday.
Brought him to college to collect exam slips.
He became my PA and arranged the slips accordingly.
We had McD.
Brought clothes.
Had tea.
Went to Neway.
Went to the arcade.
..
..
..

and my 2nd sem exams is in 3 days.
pheeewwh.
and I got bombarded by no reason again.
when the only thing I asked was "How's your preparation going on?"
some people.
tsk.tsk.tsk.

for some reasons,
I feel like going out alooooooooot.
and just spending $$.
staying at home really sucks.

I HATE YOU!

off to do some serious studying.

it is always better to talk to someone,
rather than emo'ing by yourself.
cause it really kills.

transformation

Enough of the emo'ness.
Even I myself feel desperately shameful that I am actually crying and depressing over something like whether people will judge me or look at me differently.

If they do,
they don't worth a shit.

Life is getting very extreme for me.
Starting with my brand new hair cut.
2008 is a year full of changes.

Friday, 11 January 2008, 0900, V303, TARcollege.

Friday, 11 January 2008, 1700, StarBucks, Bangsar.

See the difference?

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See the difference.

I got bob'ed.

if you discriminate,
i will too.
x2.

my greatest fears

no place to run.
no place to hide.
where can I turn to?

what hurts the most?

when you, yourself have no idea of what is happening.

I try to hide.
I try to run.
is there no other way out?

do I have to be like this?

does anyone know, how it feels like,
when all of a sudden,
you experience a drastic change.

even you yourself,
have no possibility to accept it.

I need help.
I really need.

but no one is there for me,
I have no right to blame that no one is coming to help me out of this,
because, it is I, who couldn't let anyone know.

Not even myself.

I don't want to know the truth.
for, I chose, not to accept it,
even if I knew it is coming.

would anyone still love me,
even if i am not the same Julia anymore.

standing in between

I hate to do decisions.
I hate to know things I shouldn't.

I hate the fact that I am growing.
I hate it when I am losing my innocence.

Sometimes it is really restless.
When something is crawling and screaming in pain right at the bottom of the heart.
Yet, I have no courage to tell anyone.

We are all very fragile.
or maybe,
it is just me.

I don't want to stand here anymore.
Confused and lost.
I don't want to move a step and make the decision,
either.

I will be just fine, ain't?

Influenced

As 2008 comes, I'll be having my semester exams very soon.

I remember a guy who left the course for a 1.2K designer job asking me, why are you studying for?
Honestly, when someone asks me things like these, I just don't really know how to answer.

All I know now is that I do not want to depend on my sister's RM300 a month for college fees and being disgraced as if I am a spoiled brat who only uses $$ and gives no contribution to the family.
and I need to earn enough to return my parents what-ever money they have spent on me. Most important, I do not want to owe my sister anything.

I sometimes think whether is it worth it for me to sacrifice my beauty sleep and everything else just to come out with really good assignments. I want A quality. A+ preferably.
Now when it comes to examinations, I cannot believe it, that besides blogging (what I am doing now), I actually have an eager rush to study the hell out of me and possibly get 6A's.
I really don't know what's gotten into me.
Changing into a perfectionist? KiaSu perhaps?
I really don't quite know.
As far as I am concern, life is not a bed of roses, if I want to sit in a huge office with a crew of designers, and drives a BMW to work, maybe in some skyscrapers in the city center, becoming a frequent flyer to different places, 'cin cai' is prohibited in my dictionary.

One thing changed in 2007, is Julia is more than she expected to turn out to be.
I will no longer be that innocent girl who listens and glides through every little thing by luck.
If you can dream it, you can do it. ( =P just finished watching Blades of Glory)

Fingers crossed.

Heads up.
Stand tall.
Walk straight.
Don't let anyone underestimate you.
Don't you dare underestimate yourself.

Best wishes to my darling princesses.

None,
but people of strong passion
are capable of
rising to greatness.

hibernating

Is it just me or does everyone feels the same now?
Why do I just have a feeling that 2008 ain't gonna be any smoother than 2007?

Today is a good day, where all my hard work and self-torturing paid off, for my group did rocked the final presentation.

I should be sleeping now, because if I don't, I am indeed very sure that I will black out and probably hibernate for the whole weekend.
For someone who had less than 24 hours sleep in a week, nothing is impossible.
But I am so used to sleeping at 4 in the morning that I just couldn't put myself to bed this time no matter how tired I am.

One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all
Will sleep well
Sleep well

still julialicious

i have been blogging since May 2006.
it is January 2008 today.


A little flash back from my 2007 resolutions

1. I do not sleep early. (at least I did not face the idiot box anymore)
2. I not only still pile dirty laundry in my room, I have a collection of unwashed glasses, shoppings bags, waste papers.
3. I did not finish watching Lost and Prison Break. Instead I watched Heroes.
4. I was on a diet plan. (just one that went wrong)
5. I ~~~~~errmm, am still trying to control the food I eat.
6. . . .
   
7. I did get an iPod and laptop. (but I spoiled Puteri's camcorder)
8. . . .
9. . . .
10. . . .

2008 Resolutions

1. REMEMBER the mistakes made in 2007.
2. and NEVER repeat them.

never forgive.
never forget.