hate!

I am sweating.
My lips is swollen.
I can't sleep.
I can't freak'in do my assignments.
I hate it.

I guess it is a crime being too nice.
It is a huge huge crime.

bli bli bla bla.
Something rather not so good happened to me this afternoon.
And I hate to tell it again.

My mama keeps telling me that it is nothing.

But I feel stupid.
Really very stupid.

Decent looking people are born with cruel ugly retarded brains.

This is the first time I have experience such fears.
My peace for 18 years 10 months 3 weeks is ruined and disturbed by some stupid retarded man.

I keep forcing myself to remember the Pakistanis face, but the only thing that comes into my mind is the good looking young Indian ssh lecturer's face.

so the -_-"

and thank God the toilet in Pavillion is clean and nice, or else I would have died of suffocation rather than being ... (I don't dare to imagine).

Love my dear dear so much for talking to me on the phone (when I was locking myself in the toilet), saying cute and funny jokes to keep me calm.

I still burst into tears.

Thanks to my Li, Ling, Lyn who lend me a shoulder to cry and a hug when I most needed one.

And also everyone who messaged me and cared.

I am ok.
But I still feel dead stupid and retarded,
For being so damn innocent.

And I did two dumb dumb mistakes in one day.
Things that I should never had done and said.

hate.
hate.
hate.


hate.











hate.








hate.









stop being STUPID.






take care everyone.
be careful at all times.
XOXO!

damn every stupid retarded psycho man to hell.
how can I not hate men when all they do is take advantages when they can.










HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaTE!

love you. love you.love you.

p/s : spend awhile to listen to the song.

Let's start from here,
Lose the past,
Change our minds,
We don′t need a finish line.

happy easter

or maybe not.

Easter. the resurrection of Christ.
God bless everyone.

cute little Easter eggs for the Egg Hunt.

my uncle got my popo these real neat tea leaves. or tea flower.

so pretty.....

who could possibly drink something so beautiful as this.

Evey
half guai lou + 1/4 chinese & malay.

eeeuurrmm...

soooooo cute!!!

like a little moving, walking, talking doll.

sooooooo small.

so huge....
-_- "

haven't been swimming for a very long time.
feels real nice.

i have very little words to express.
-_-"
this is not good.
not good at all.

what makes you smile?

Celebrated SK's 19th at Tony Roma's on Thursday.

cakes and ice-cream on the house.

everybody else was busy and had assignments to rush.

Photo's stolen from AD. teehehe.
e-me the others as well yeaaa. gmail. xoxo!

and then it was off to ziYing's.

...

my look : 10000X childish'er.
^-^

i am still obsessed with blogging about my hair in every post.

life is short.
appreciate everything
and everyone you have.

sweet and low little girl

I love and I hate my new hair cut.

It looks too childish, but then, it looks darn matured as well.

and they say i look cute with the long hair.

I am obsessed with my hair.
no matter it is middle-length or short.

and if you notice,
7 out of 12 finalist for malaysian dream girl
had short hair
for their major make-over.

I have no idea why I am still so obsessed with this issue.

-_-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

less complications, more innocence

My class got to use the mac lab for this whole semester. 6hours a week.

yiiiipppppeee!!!

playing with the iPhoto Booth thingy when practical is getting boring

and boring'er.

and i cut my hair.

yet again,
i do not have the patience to keep my hair long.

cheers to 18years 10months and a week with short hair.

you deserve to be loved, not the annoying little brat by the name of Julia

Ad called me up less than 4 hours ago,
asking me to join OO for the 3rd time (if I am not mistaken).

Oh well, she mentioned about stuffs.
and stuffs.
and more stuffs.

Got me thinking alot.

I was a cute little girl who was always obedient to my parents, believes in true love, and all those crappy shit.

Maybe the great one above knows for sure I will be punished and that's why I get all the things I want and all attention I don't need right now.

I am a drop dead nasty, ignorant, selfish little miss who takes advantage of people whenever I can.

I don't deserve all these for heaven's sake.
I don't deserve all these at all.

It makes it harder to get over the guilt I am carrying.
and even harder for me to love myself, all over again.

and yeaaa.

my hair is getting uglier and uglier.

May everyone else be loved.
XOXO!

flood alert!

compliments are flooding me lately which tends to make me fly.
maybe sightly overjoyed.

lying to one self is better than emo !!????

so the 100x emo'er.

T.T

second chances

When I was going through my first break-up,
I was listening to Secondhand Serenade's Your Call practically every minute.

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Now I am listening to their Goodbye every minute

It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe were the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe

I'm alive but I’m losing all my drive
Cause everything were been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way

And every, everything isn't only
What it seemed so hold these
Words that you never told me
Its time to say goodbye

Goodbye

Bye

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong

I was wrong.

begining

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespasses against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
And the power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.

Matthew 6 : 9-13

everyone will have to face
the decision they made
the wrongs they have done
and God will punish me, for what I've done.

I have to live with it.

and if you could
and would
pull me out.
I cannot bear
the sufferings
anymore.
I feel like dying.

kissssssssssssss me

my self torture paid off, at least.

kiss my spankin' ace.
and 3.68 gpa
















but
i am not satisfied